Chapter 6 - The Meeting(s)
One Week Later...
Justin's Establishment...
Las Vegas, Nevada...
He sits patiently on his large black leather chair darting his eyes around the spacious room...
He feels conflicted. He's been developing emotions and feelings he thought were long dead just like his past. He doesn't like the idea of them resurfacing. He isn't planning on having a replay of a time in his life that he honestly will never get over. He'll be damned if anything remotely close to what he's experienced all those years ago happens again. He harbors so much hatred, anger and resentment that most times his thoughts are always clouded over and all he ever sees is red. But, this is who he is now. He's used to it now. At least he thought he was...
Until, she stepped into his life. He thought she was just going be another one - another one of ‘his girls'. But, he was so wrong. He was so stupid. He should have just left her alone the moment he laid eyes on her. The truth was he noticed her the moment she walked through those doors of his establishment from where he sat in V.I.P all those years ago.
It wasn't difficult to pick her out in the audience either when he stepped unto the stage to make his speech. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her. He knew she was different and he despised that feeling. She was like a magnet that literally drew him in. The only problem was she pulled him in for all the wrong reasons. His instant attraction towards her was based off everything negative. But, he couldn't let it go. He had to find out who she was. So, he did something he never did since he started managing his business. He went into the crowd and found her sitting at the bar with who he assumed was her friend and some nameless guy...
"What's your name beautiful?" was the first thing he ever said to her and she blushed. He thought it was semi-cute because he hardly ever had pleasant thoughts. That alone was a warning signal for him to walk away but he ignored it.
"It's uh...um Di - Di - Diane." She stuttered and that was all it took. At that exact moment in time, he didn't care anymore. He had to have her...
Now, almost ten years later, he's not so sure he made a wise decision for many reasons he has no intention of thinking about presently. But one thing is certain. He'll never allow his self to be weak again around her. He's aware that it has something to do with the fact that she's interested in his friend. He realizes it's the first time his authority feels threatened. He knows it's the first time she'll hang on another person's word besides his own. He can't let that happen. He won't allow that to happen. He can't lose her. Not when he's so confused with how she presently fits into his life...
"Justin."
Snapping his head up, Justin instantly rises from his sitting position in his office on the second floor of his business down in the heart of Las Vegas. It's late Friday afternoon. That means he has a show to oversee later tonight. He needs to get this over with as soon as possible because the girls will be arriving soon to set up and prepare for tonight's events.
Locking eyes with a pair of familiar blues that mirror the same type of emotions his hold, he ushers the person to take a seat.
Reclaiming his place, Justin stares down at his cup that's filled to the brim with scotch and coke. As ridiculous as it sounds, this is his soothing remedy. He feels at ease and every tense muscle in his body relaxes the moment he takes a sip from that cup. He knows that he might have a drinking problem, but he's not going to verbally admit it.
Fixing his white fedora hat on his head that matches the white buttoned down shirt and dark jeans he's wearing, he rests back in his seat, eyeing his associate and now friend closely.
"JC..." Justin acknowledges the older man with a nod of his head.
Sighing heavily, JC takes in his surroundings - tinted glass walls, plush leather couches, artificial plants, large mahogany vanished desk, plasma screen television possibly connected to surveillance cameras and one very irritated individual.
"Let's get this over with." JC voices while straightening his posture and tugging on his grey t-shirt.
"Why don't you start by telling me why you really came back other than the business we have? I know that's not the only reason and it's not to visit friends and family like you claimed Joshua." Justin explains and JC nods in agreement.
"You're right. I sort of need your help." JC admits but Justin isn't surprised.
"Does it have anything to do with Grant?" Justin inquires knowingly, noting how JC's orbs widen.
"What? Who told you...?"
"He showed up at my fucking estate. What the fuck is going on Josh?" Justin hisses, leaning over his desk to glare at JC.
"Wh...what did he say?" JC inquires nervously.
Arching a brow, Justin scoffs while resting back in his seat and folding his arms across his firm chest. "Not much except that he's looking for you. Oh and he sent one of his lackeys to my establishment during my big show the night of my annual party. I had no idea it had anything to do with you. The guy was hounding me and asking all these questions about if I knew of any trades taking place and that Grant needed to know if I did. I nearly shot the poor bastard. What the fuck are you into now Josh? I swear I'm not getting mixed up in your shit. You know I'm not in that anymore. The last time that happened..."
"We almost got killed." JC breathes out, finishing Justin's sentence.
"No shit."
"Look, Grant isn't pleased with the new shipment I brought in for him. He says they're not top class or of good quality and he wants his money back but everything was settled with the traders so he can't...he can't get back what he paid in full. He doesn't want to hear it so he's been threatening me and..."
"Wait; let me get this shit straight." Justin interrupts him, taking a large gulp of his drink before he places the cup down. "You're telling me, the same thing that you claimed to walk away from all those years ago after our close encounters - you're right back in it? Dealing and trading? Are you fucking nuts man?" Justin snaps, his voice rising slightly. "Grant could fucking kill you for this shit. You know how he gets." Justin says matter-of-fact and JC cringes.
"I know that's why I need your help."
Sighing, Justin bows his head in thought before he looks back up at JC. "Josh, I can't. I'm not going to put myself or my girls in danger over this shit. I vowed to never get into this thing again. You can't seriously be asking me to help you with your fucking shipments." Justin sneers, a scowl plastered on his smooth features.
"It's just about getting better merchandise Justin. You're well established now. It's not like before. You can get your hands on the necessities easily now. You have ranks and can pull strings, you know that." JC furrows his brows at his friend, wondering why he's so hesitant. The Justin he knew back in the day would jump at the opportunity of cashing in from these big projects.
"Merchandise? Is that what you call it now? Shit Josh. You're fucked up you know that?" Justin chortles lowly but he's still skeptic.
"Look, if you can help me with this Grant issue then I promise I won't ask you for any other favors." JC assures.
Thinking it over for a while and knowing how JC is part of the reason why he's even still breathing, Justin reluctantly shakes his head letting out a groan of displeasure. He doesn't want to do this. His views are different now and he doesn't want any part of that life. His life is already fucked up enough as it is. "You're so fucking lucky this isn't drugs else I'd tell you to take a hike. But, just this once JC and you are to let no one know I'm helping you. If word gets out that I'm even partly involved, you're on your own." Justin enforces and JC nods his head immediately.
"Ok, now the reason why we are here. You know I called you about this new club I'm opening. Since you already have your own chain of nightclubs in Europe, I thought you'd be a good ally in helping me get this business off the ground. I mean it's obviously going to be different. So, I need the rundown on how to make this shit successful." Justin explains, pulling out a folder with his business plan from his desk draw.
"You know I'm game man. Plus, if you get me out of this bind with Grant, I'll owe you one. I'll give you all the knowledge you need to do this right. The fact that you've already made a name for yourself, it should be easy to do." JC explains.
"Sweet, so here is the business plan. You can take it and look it over then get back to me. We really need to make this quick. My girls are coming in soon and I need to get ready for our show later." Justin states while handing JC the folder of papers.
Taking the item from Justin's grasp, JC quickly scans it over as a thought passes through his mind. "So is it true?" JC asks, still reading over the business plan thoroughly.
"Is what true?" Justin inquires, gripping his cup and sipping on his drink idly.
"This whole you're opening your club after Diane bit. From what I've understood, you're going to take her off the market for good which means no more Veronica Blush and place her to manage the new joint. What's that about?" Lifting his head to glare at Justin, JC frowns in confusion when he sees the rage shooting out of Justin's piercing blues.
"Now where the fuck did you hear that bullshit story?"
"Isn't that what Ronnie said? He was talking to Jacob about your plan of opening the nightclub and Diane was part of the conversation. I think it was the same night of your annual party. They also mentioned you being pussy whipped." JC snickers but holds his breath when Justin stands abruptly.
"Ok Josh. Obviously, I'm going to have a chat with Ronnie. And secondly, I really don't see how any of that is your fucking business. We've discussed what we had to, so this meeting is over." Justin barks, trying to keep his cool. He's on the verge of exploding and he knows that anything JC chooses to say next could set him off.
Standing to face Justin, JC eyes him closely before something else goes off in his brain. "Do you have some type of feelings for her Just? That would be something new. You never get personally involved with your girls. Isn't that against one of your ‘laws?' It's strictly business remember?" JC explains and Justin grunts loudly before his fists connect to his desk harshly in a fit of anger.
"I fucking know that JC! I don't have any feelings for her!" Justin reprimands although he's not so sure anymore.
"Well that's good, because I was thinking about taking her off your hands." JC shrugs with a light smile on his face. He knows Justin might be lying, but he's had his eyes on Miss Blush for a while now and...
"You can't have her." Justin spits out furiously, discarding his cup as he makes his way around his desk until he's standing face to face with JC, burning a hole into him with his gaze.
"But I thought you said..."
"I know what I fucking said. And part of that is you can't have her. End of discussion." Justin snaps, moving around his friend to head for the door when JC's next statement catches him off guard.
"That's too bad. I really like her you know? She's sweet and I'm sure she's not happy here. She always looks so depressed and a little scared or maybe nervous? I mean I could always take her back to Europe with me and give her a great job at one of the clubs instead of..." But JC's words are instantly cut off when Justin flips around and storms over to him, gripping him by his collar and ramming him up against the glass walls.
Seething and clearly pissed off to the point of no return, Justin's right hand dips into his waistband and in the blink of an eye, he pulls out his gun, moving back the safety pin before he places the cold rim of the gun against JC's temple with his thumb resting on the trigger. "You can't fucking have her Josh. Don't fuck with me. I swear to god, history be damned, I'll fucking kill your ass if you try anything smart with her. She has no idea about the type of person she's dealing with. You're no saint. You and I both know you don't want her to just work in your club." Justin spits out coldly, his voice deeper than usual.
"And since when do you care..."
"I fucking care ok!? There I said it. I care! And, you can't have her!" Justin belts while digging the device into JC's skin.
Wincing in pain, JC's orbs widen slightly when he notes the seriousness in Justin's tone. He's not joking is he? Shit, that could be a problem - Especially with the plans he's set up that he has no intention of changing.
"Fine Justin. Fine, I heard you loud and clear." JC replies calmly because he knows better than to do or say anything else to piss Justin off further. He knows what Justin is capable of. He's seen him kill many foes firsthand just because they pissed him off. Even though he controls his impulses much better now, JC knows Justin is like a ticking time bomb that could go off at any minute.
"Shit JC. Goddamn it you asshole! Is this why you keep requesting her? What ever you're up to it ends now..."
"Relax Justin. I just made a suggestion. Believe me when I say I just want to spend time with her like any other client. That's it." JC raises his hands in the air trying to make his peace.
Not believing a word he says, Justin decides to let it slide for now. After all, JC did pay his due so he deserved the time he requested.
Nodding his head and releasing a sly smile, Justin knows he'll make sure that's all it is and nothing more - strictly business. "Ok then. Don't fuck it up Josh. You know what I'm capable of." Justin sneers, removing the gun from JC's head and taking a step back. Watching as JC fixes his shirt while coughing a bit since he was partly suffocating from the death grip on his neck, Justin easily replaces his gun in the waistband of his jeans, dropping his shirt over it to hide the object.
"Shit man. You're fucking insane." JC chokes out, rubbing at his sore throat.
"Just don't defy me Josh. You'll get your week with her. Be happy about that. Don't get greedy. You know how you are." Justin retorts, rolling his eyes before he begins his journey to the exit of his office.
"You should really think about this..."
"I have thought about it. Diane couldn't leave even if she wanted to, so, drop it." Justin voices while thinking about Courtney. Diane wasn't about to leave her child. And, he wasn't going to let her take their...her little girl anywhere. He'd be lying if he said Courtney didn't look like him. He's seeing more of his self in her as time passes and he hates the idea. He doesn't know the first thing about being a father and really, he never wanted to be one. Not after...
"Justin? Are you up there?"
Locking eyes with JC, Justin gives him a warning glare when he hears Diane calling out to him.
"The girls are here." Justin explains and JC nods silently clutching onto the folder in his hands. He has no idea how to behave around Justin anymore. As much as they've built a bond over the way they met and the life they lived so many years ago, JC knows Justin has never held anyone close enough to his heart to make any type of sacrifice. Well, that's what JC thought. But, this whole Diane issue is making him think otherwise...
"Come on, let's go..." Justin orders, swinging his office door open to head down to the ground floor where he can hear his girls' voices with JC in tow...
*****
Looking up from the bar where I'm sitting with Eve and Ricardo, I notice Justin and JC are making their way towards us. Gasping in shock, a large smile plays across my lips at the sight of JC. He's back! Oh my god this is amazing. Now, I get to spend that week with him. I wonder when he has it set up for. Well whenever it is, I'm there. I know I shouldn't be exited about this. I shouldn't be since Justin has been so great lately. He's really and I mean really making an effort to keep his hands off me and his temper at bay.
I mean, when I pissed him off last night because I insisted that Courtney spend the weekend over, he got so red in the face I knew he wanted to hit something. Shit, he nearly knocked me out. He gripped me so tightly that I thought I would suffocate on the spot. But, somewhere along the line of him screaming blasphemies and raising his hand to swing, he made contact with the wall behind my head instead. Now, I would have thought his aim was off and he was really meaning the blow for my face, but then he did it again. In fact, he did it until his knuckles bled.
Yeah, I was petrified and frozen solid in place with my eyes shut tightly until he groaned in pain and released the hold he had on me. I'm still confused as to how he could inflict pain on his own self like that. I already know he needs some serious psychological help. But, I'd also like to know why he's this way. I've just been too terrified to ask and now that he seems to be having this internal battle with his self, I'm thinking he doesn't want to be like this anymore. I know one thing is certain. Justin is a man with many demons that torment him on a daily basis. I sort of feel sorry for him in a way...
"Diane you're drinking?" Justin arches a brow at me in amusement as he and JC take a seat at the bar with us.
"I uh..." Looking down at my glass of Hennessey and coke, I just smile shyly. Locking eyes with Ricardo, he shrugs for me before moving to the other end of the bar - that wimp. "It's just..."
"No it's cool. I'm just surprised. You hardly drink and when you do, it's wine or something mild. So what you got in there?" Grabbing my glass, Justin lifts it to his nose and inhales deeply before he breathes out. "I'm guessing henny and coke." He beams before he takes a sip. "Yeah, I was right." He laughs while handing my glass back to me. "Don't get too far gone else you won't be able to perform later."
Should I be impressed or scared shitless that he has a nose for alcohol? That can not be a good thing. Shrugging, I take a few sips of my drink as I notice Eve in some deep conversation with Ricardo. Most of the other girls are either on the stage or at the back getting ready for the show tonight. It's a ritual.
I'm not looking forward to doing this show. I don't like those nasty men groping at me like they do. I also do not like having to whore myself out for them. Another life looks so appealing right now...
"So, I'll be seeing you soon Miss Blossom. I'm sure Justin told you the news." JC finally opts to speak and it's like music to my ears. Lifting my free hand, he places a light kiss on the back and I could have sworn Justin popped a vein.
Clearing his throat loudly, Justin hops off the barstool to leave but not before he orders Ricardo to give him his signature poisonous drink. I would not want to be his liver right now...
When Justin's out of sight, JC just smirks before making his self more comfortable and gripping unto some folder tightly.
"Justin's really breaking his boundaries and limits with you huh? You all must really be close for him to do that." I whisper to JC still sipping on my drink as I continue to eye him.
"He's just trying to prove a point." JC laughs maniacally.
"Which is?"
"That he's unaffected with the fact that you and I have chemistry." He says smoothly with a sly grin.
"Whatever." I giggle, blushing in the process.
"It's true. Trust me, you have no idea. But hey, I need to get going. I have some...things I need to take care of. But, I promise I'll be seeing you soon for our dates." Jumping off the barstool, JC helps me off as well taking my drink and leaving it at the bar.
"Dates?"
"We have a week together don't we? I promise I'll make it into a week you won't forget." He smiles sweetly. His gaze is so much softer than Justin's own, though it's always shining with unidentifiable emotions. He's a real mystery that one, but I like him.
"Uh...ok." I say nervously. I'm so excited I'm practically screaming on the inside; JC and especially Justin doesn't need to know that though.
"Great, well then...bye pretty lady." JC drawls before he gives me a kiss on the cheek, quickly making his way to the exit.
When he's finally out of sight, I release a pleasurable sigh. Oh I'm most definitely looking forward to our dates...
"Diane..."
Jumping in fright, I whip around instantly coming face to face with Justin. "Holy shit..." I breathe out, my heartbeat steadily increasing. Shit, he needs to not sneak up on me like that.
Frowning, he grips my hand and pulls me with him backstage to the dressing room area.
"Justin..."
"I need to talk to you Di." he cuts me off. His tone is soft but his grasp on me isn't. His fingers are digging into my flesh and it's really beginning to hurt.
Finally making it to the dressing rooms, I notice Jacob and Ronnie walking down the hallway towards us deep in conversation. They haven't looked up or noticed us yet.
When I feel Justin stop dead in his tracks, I look up at him in curiosity.
His breathing instantly becomes choppy and I can see the flash of death twinkling in his blues. Oh no, what's wrong now? The way he's looking at his own friends is enough to make me scared for his enemies. I'm telling you, he's like a freaking mad man.
Letting me go, I watch intently as Justin's hand dives to his jeans, a low throaty growl escaping his lips. Usually, that would be extremely sexy but now it's really scaring the shit out of me.
Reversing and gasping in shock, I watch in horror as Justin whips out his gun before he storms towards Ronnie and Jacob like a passing tornado.
"Justin!" I scream out, causing Ronnie and Jacob to look in our direction since they were so engrossed in their conversation.
"Jay man what's..."
Silence...
Swallowing the rest of his words, Jacob looks on quizzically when Justin rushes up to Ronnie, slamming him up against the hallway wall.
"Oh god..." Passing my hands over my face nervously, I amble towards them cautiously. "Justin what are you doing?" I whimper.
I'm just praying he doesn't pull that trigger. Dear god, what the fuck did Ronnie do to get him this way?
"You little fucker!" Justin hisses, pressing the rim of the gun under Ronnie's chin.
Poor Ronnie. He's so confused and terrified out of his skin.
"Justin what..." But Ronnie shuts up when Justin pulls back the safety on his death device.
"I warned you Ron. I fucking warned you. Your mouth is going to get me into a lot of trouble. You need to learn to shut that fucking trap of yours!"
"Justin I don't understand!" Ronnie cries out, his eyes glazed over with unshed tears.
"Justin!" Jacob calls out to him.
"Don't Jacob!" Justin warns, shooting him an evil glare. "This little bitch is going to learn once and for all how serious this shit is." Inhaling sharply, Justin backs away from Ronnie, still pointing the gun at him as he begins to heave. "How much did they pay you?" Justin shouts and wow, what the hell is going on?
"What? I-I-I...Don....Don't know..."
"Don't bullshit me Ron! How much did they fucking pay you to spy on me?" Justin screams out while walking towards him.
Jacob is just standing there frozen solid in shock and I'm still trying to figure out what the fuck is going on.
"They didn't..."
"Don't lie to me Ron. I'll pull the fucking trigger. I swear I will so don't!"
"Justin they..." Dropping to his knees like a baby, Ronnie's tears begin flowing like a waterfall down his cheeks and by the guilty look on his face, I know this can't be good. "Shit, they just wanted a story. The...the media just wanted to know what was going on with you. They said it was harmless and I'd be rewarded for giving you more exposure and..."
"Shit!" Justin screams, lifting his hands to his head in frustration. "You fucking idiot! There are parts of my life and my past I do not need them knowing about! I was wondering how that bitch reporter knew about the nightclub I'm opening when we did the interview at Hugh's. How much did you tell them?"
"I only told them about the nightclub. That's it I swear." Ronnie raises his hands in fear, his tears still flowing steadily and I'm so stunned right now. I have no idea what to do to stop what I'm about to witness.
"I don't fucking believe you. What else did you tell them Ron?!" Leaning down, Justin grips Ronnie's chin while cocking his head to the side with a deranged look in his eyes.
"Justin please...I...I didn't say anything else. Please you have to believe me. I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." Hiccupping, heaving and balling one's eyes out are not appealing for any young man. But, as expected, Justin was able to get that reaction out of Ron.
"Fucking bastard!" Moving away from Ronnie, Justin straightens his posture cracking the bones in his neck and then knuckles. Oh no, that's not good. I've, I've seen him do this before he loses all patience and practically snaps... "Get up."
"What?" Ronnie asks, his eyes widening in terror.
"Don't make me say it again." Justin warns.
Standing on shaky legs, my hands fly to my mouth when I see the stains on Ronnie's pants. On my god he pissed himself! "Justin..." I whisper out, my tone grainy.
Snapping his head in my direction, I notice his gaze soften for a split second before Ronnie's voice snaps him back...
"Please don't shoot me Jay. I'm sorry." Ronnie pleads, his form actually trembling as he cowers in fear.
"Justin don't do it..." I beg while gripping his arm but, he pushes me away shaking his head in protest.
"No! He needs to learn a lesson! Shit, I'm sorry Ron but..." And before any of us can do or say anything else, the gun goes off and I watch in horror as Ronnie falls to the floor. "I warned you Ron." Justin spits uncaringly.
"Oh my god!" I scream out, instantly crying in the process. Dropping to my knees, I crawl over to Ronnie still crying hysterically. "You're a fucking monster Justin." I belt. He's just looking down at us, hovering with a crazed expression on his face.
Then the dressing room doors swing open and we're met with deafening screams. Just great...
"What happened!?" Bethany screams out running over to me and Ronnie. "Oh my god Ron!" She cries out, just as the other girls are circling around us.
"Justin that wasn't necessary." Jacob finally speaks with disappointment laced in his tone, but, Justin doesn't seem to care one bit.
"Get over your fucking selves. He's not dead!" Justin retorts, putting his gun away.
Glaring at him in detest, I divert my attention to Ronnie who's hunched over in pain, gripping his wounded leg as the pool of blood surrounding him begins soaking his jeans. "Shit...god..." Ronnie wails, squinting in pain as he gasps for air.
"Apply pressure to it Ronnie." I instruct him, gripping his hands and pressing them down on his wound. He lets out a howl in pain and I flinch when I feel Justin gripping my arm, yanking me to stand.
"Call the ambulance." I instruct to Jacob and he nods while pulling out his cell to dial the familiar number.
Shaking my head sadly, I allow Justin to pull me away from the scene and down the dimly lit hallway. Some of the girls are still crying, completely clueless as to what just went down. Jacob doesn't seem to be fazed at all. I guess he's used to this Justin. I'm sure he's seen Justin in this light before. But, I haven't. Not first hand anyway. And I'm still a little shaky by all of this...
Struggling against Justin's hold until we enter the hair stylist chambers, he roughly jacks me away from him before he slams the door shut behind us.
Rolling my eyes, I cross my arms over my white dress, ignoring the crimson red stains of blood on it from when I was attending to Ronnie.
Eyeing Justin as he paces, I just scoff, leaning against one of the counters.
"I didn't want to do it Di. I mean I like the kid. But, I had to teach him a lesson. I had to ...shit!" Stopping his movements, Justin turns to face me, searching my eyes for some reason on other. He has a funny way of showing he likes someone that's for sure. "Did you mean what you said?" Justin inquires, approaching me and I instantly tense - my eyes widening.
"Mean what?" I croak out.
Slumping, he looks away from me with a hurt expression on his face. Ok, what the hell man.
"That I was a monster?" He inquires weakly.
Uh, since when does he give a shit about what I think? "Uh..."
"No it's ok. You were right. I am. I just..." Sighing, He rubs his hands over his face, growing stubble and then neck. Removing his hat, he scratches the top of his head mindlessly before his breath hitches in his throat. "Shit...I could have killed him." Justin laments but I'm still just eyeing him. I think it's safe to say he's self-destructing.
He looks up at me and I stop breathing when I see his eyes glossy and shining under the florescent lighting.
"I'm sorry..." he whispers, his resolve cracking right in front of me.
Wow...I've never heard him say anything like that before to anyone and...
Wait, he just...he just said what? "Wh...what?" I stammer. Please tell me I'm dreaming. Hold on, what the hell did he want to talk to me about in the first place? We have a show to prepare for. Now is not a good time to be stalling. I'm betting it has to do with JC. I think he feels threatened by him...
Closing the gap between us, Justin looks down at me and it's then that I realize the glassy look in his eyes are unshed tears.
Inhaling deeply, he extends his hands to touch me. When I remain still, he immediately pulls me into his embrace, dropping his head to the crook of my neck as he grips my waist tightly still breathing hard.
"I'm sorry..." He chokes out again, but I don't want to believe it.
I think my heart just skipped a beat. Is he really saying what I think he is? This is not like him at all. What am I supposed to make of that? I'm not going to hold him to it. I'm not going to just accept that. Sorry isn't enough. He should know that. I'm not even sure if he really means it or if he's just having another episode. Still not budging, I blink a few times as I inhale his musky scent, shutting my eyes when one of his hands makes its way to my long, thick, brown hair. Grabbing a chuck of my locks and wrapping his fingers tightly around it, Justin grazes his soft lips over the flesh of my neck, massaging my scalp and eliciting a gasp from me. This is the first time I've felt a shiver go down my spine that I actually like that was caused by him. Oh no what's happening?
"Justin what's going on? What did you want to talk to me about?"
But he doesn't answer.
Instead, he grips me tightly, squeezing my body against his own before he presses his lips to my hot skin, kissing me delicately just underneath my earlobe before he works his way down to my shoulder bone and then stops. My heart is pounding out of my chest right now because I have no idea what's come over him or how to really react to this side of him. Again, I really think JC is a contributing factor in this. But why? Should I be happy about that?
I think Justin's emotions are running haywire right now. I'm only saying this because I can feel the moistness on the bare skin of my neck. Now, I'd maybe say I was delusional and my eluded mind was conjuring up something clearly impossible in this reality. Because realistically, what I think is happening right now is so farfetched...
Then he shudders, still holding on for dear life but I'm not convinced - not until I hear what sounds like a faint whimper, but, my heart is pounding too loudly for me to be certain. What really astounds me and makes me realize this is real, is the sniffle that follows soon after complimented with a slight tremor of sobs...
I, I think he's, he's crying...
Wait, he's crying? Huh?
And you know what? My hands finally find their way around his neck just hugging him and skimming his back, trying to sooth his broken form. But oh my god, I'm beyond confused now and my emotions are having their own personal dispute with each other. I can't speak because I can't find the right words to say, so, I just hold him feeling uneasy with this situation and praying he'll get a grip.
It's all I can do really because my mind is hazed and I'm convinced that there was a shift in the universe today.
That's the only explanation I can think of for Justin's change in behavior. He goes from one extreme to the next and it's enough to drive any person crazy.
Still, I wish I knew what he wanted to talk to me about. Maybe when he sobers up he'll tell me? I hope so. I can wait I guess. It's not like I'm going anywhere...
Then I hear that familiar sound of voices outside...
It's the paramedics. They're talking, asking questions and doing their job I guess.
It's followed by a knock on the door but Justin doesn't make any attempt to move. Instead, he grips me even tighter practically crushing my ribcage due to his strength.
I can make out Jacob telling them that no one is in here and I'm wondering why he's covering up for Justin. Shit, I wouldn't. He just shot a person with no plausible reason. That person is supposed to be his friend too! I should probably make a sound, any sound so they can come in here and haul his ‘I'm-a-pimp-and-I-think-I'm-the-shit' ass away. But, the moment I open my mouth to make some noise, I quickly lose my voice when Justin decides to make his declaration again that completely shatters my defenses this time around - his voice strained, pained, soft and regretful.
"I'm sorry Di. I'm so sorry..."